Growing up as Mother Earth's collaborator.
From Child, to Rebel, to Adult, to Outlaw, to Love,
to Enlightened Love.
Some important background on the material in this chapter. While in college in the late 1960's, I became fascinated with developmental psychology. That attraction has never left me. In 1982 I attened a workshop led by Robert Kegan. It was a book tour for his recent book and research, The Evolving Self. A Harvard academic, Kegan has defined adult development so well that his work is constantly referenced. Then, in 1994, I attended another workshop, this time with Sam Keen. I followed up with two more visits with Keen. At the time he was doing a book tour for his 1995 book, Hymns to an Unknown God: Awakening the Spirit in Everyday Life. On the book table there were stacks of other books that he had written and I picked up The Passionate Life: Stages of Loving. First published in 1983, with the second edition in 1992. That's the copy I have all tattered and marked up. In fact, in 2004 we had a flood in our house from a broken water line. My library was almost entirely destroyed. I saved my copy of The Passionate Life. I have it here beside me now.
Keen speaks of the stages of loving as we move form Child, to Rebel, to Adult, to Outlaw, to Lover. In Chapter 7 of LOVING MOTHER EARTH, you will see my interpretation of these stages of loving.
I should note that stage theory has been researched and written about for hundreds and hundreds of years. In 1995, I was introduced to Ken Wilber's big book, as it is called - Sex, Ecology, Spirituality. I then grabbed his book A Brief History of Everything. I knew I had found relief. Wilber gave me a way to understand everything. No kidding. Another book followed: A Theory of Everything. Then his book Integral Psychology, in which he outlines 100 developmental stages, aligning them all with each other. He doesn't reference Keen's work, which I consider and oversight on Wilber's part, but he does Fowler and Kegan.
Somewhere back then I also read James Fowler's book Stages of Faith. He wrote after doing empirical research that integrated science with faith. Fascinating stuff. I conducted a workshop one summer for the Michigan Association for Marriage and Family Therapy on Fowler's work. The room was packed, much to my surprise.
In 1996, along came Don Beck and Chris Cowen's book Spiral Dynamics: mastering values, leadership, and change. What a terrific model they presented, based on the developmental work of Claire Graves. I outlined the whole book and taught SD to my kids while they were in college. Invaluable when it comes to the evolution of values and cultures and how to lead change from one stage to the next as a wizard would.
This is a good time to remind you, my companion, that I steal like an artist. Nothing is original with me. No a thing. I beg, borrow and steal from other really smart people and weave it all together into a novel form that simplifies the sublime. That's my hope, anyway. I owe a lot of gratitude to the cartographers of the soul that have helped me to find my way. Yet, I always recall a piece of wisdom from Rumi: Straying marks the path. As I have stumbled and fumbled along, I have lived... and learned. May you as well.
So here we go! From Child, to Rebel, to Adult, to Outlaw, to Lover, to ENLIGHTENED LOVER.
Keen speaks of the stages of loving as we move form Child, to Rebel, to Adult, to Outlaw, to Lover. In Chapter 7 of LOVING MOTHER EARTH, you will see my interpretation of these stages of loving.
I should note that stage theory has been researched and written about for hundreds and hundreds of years. In 1995, I was introduced to Ken Wilber's big book, as it is called - Sex, Ecology, Spirituality. I then grabbed his book A Brief History of Everything. I knew I had found relief. Wilber gave me a way to understand everything. No kidding. Another book followed: A Theory of Everything. Then his book Integral Psychology, in which he outlines 100 developmental stages, aligning them all with each other. He doesn't reference Keen's work, which I consider and oversight on Wilber's part, but he does Fowler and Kegan.
Somewhere back then I also read James Fowler's book Stages of Faith. He wrote after doing empirical research that integrated science with faith. Fascinating stuff. I conducted a workshop one summer for the Michigan Association for Marriage and Family Therapy on Fowler's work. The room was packed, much to my surprise.
In 1996, along came Don Beck and Chris Cowen's book Spiral Dynamics: mastering values, leadership, and change. What a terrific model they presented, based on the developmental work of Claire Graves. I outlined the whole book and taught SD to my kids while they were in college. Invaluable when it comes to the evolution of values and cultures and how to lead change from one stage to the next as a wizard would.
This is a good time to remind you, my companion, that I steal like an artist. Nothing is original with me. No a thing. I beg, borrow and steal from other really smart people and weave it all together into a novel form that simplifies the sublime. That's my hope, anyway. I owe a lot of gratitude to the cartographers of the soul that have helped me to find my way. Yet, I always recall a piece of wisdom from Rumi: Straying marks the path. As I have stumbled and fumbled along, I have lived... and learned. May you as well.
So here we go! From Child, to Rebel, to Adult, to Outlaw, to Lover, to ENLIGHTENED LOVER.
Page 89 - Einstein and Thunberg. We need a higher level of thinking if we are to move beyond the catastrophe facing us. Einstein was referencing a change in consciousness, a step into a non-dual worldview where we lived out of our oneness. I believe he was encouraging us to become Enlightened Lovers. And Thurnberg was saying we can do it! As Notre Dame burned down, she came around and said we can rebuild it. As the world burned down, we can regenerate Mother Earth. Yet, and this is a big "yet", as time has moved on we have wondered if Notre Dame can be rebuilt. Not within a year as was first imagined, but ever. And so it is with Mother Earth as well. Our species has already lost the battle, I am convinced. But beyond hope for a regenerated earth, there is something more. Of that we shall speak when we get to the end of LOVING MOTHER EARTH. In all cases, it is imperative that we move towards being Enlightened Lovers. In all cases. No matter what.
Page 90 - The more our thinking evolves, the more effectively will we be able to collaborate with Mother Earth. So the invitation is clear. Evolve your consciousness! Evolve your body, mind, soul, and spirit! GROW UP.
Page 92 - WAKING UP is about bringing your Mindful Observing Witness online, so to speak. GROWING UP is about working you way up the spiral, looping up and down, but every up to a bigger and bigger world view in which more and more options are available, where the separate and greedy ego dies, and where we live in communion with all of creation - and reverently.
Page 93 - A bigger world view = more options. It has been observed that religion begins elitist, and ends up egalitarian. That is true. Closed systems fail to thrive. That is from System Theory 101. We need to have boundaries that are permeable. Both. Boundaries - Permeable. Too many boundaries and we are like a cancer that marches to its own will. Too permeable and we catch every virus that comes along. Go on about your business, but wear a mask!
Page 94 - We have been too individual focused for too many years. Think about the 60's. Since then we have been non-conformists in so many ways. Libertarians! The shift back to a collective, community focused worldview is coming. Trumpers are a real regression to an early stage of communal living - all the way back to the Dependent Child organized around the Counter-Dependent Rebel leader. Instead we need to leap ahead to a more reverent post-progressive worldview as is being recommended by Steve McIntosh in his book Integral Politics. Time to GROW UP! Here is the big message in third principal: Transcend and include. Transcend the old worldview by including the best of it, while stretching to grow into the next level of adult development. And get this - Every perspective is right, but partial. No one has the whole truth, and no one is completely wrong either. We all have a piece of the truth and thus, the collective genius of the group is almost always smarter than the smartest member of the group. The fifth principle is that we evolve bit by bit, forward and backward, two step ahead, one back, and then ahead again. The natural direction is always ahead, unless we are under threat, at which point we regress. I should note as well that we can get caught in some form of group think and with that we get stuck. Stuck in church. Stuck in the church of conservatism, liberalism, progressivism, or whatever ism you can think of. Yet, the call to evolve is constant.
Page 95 - Breakthroughs happen, as noted in the seventh principle. I recall spending time with Matthew Fox and his books Original Blessing and Breakthrough: Meister Eckhart's Creation Spirituality in new Translation. It is like the lightening that strikes out of the blue. Or as Eckhart wrote, like the smudge on the inside of a glass, dirtied by the oil lamp, that is suddenly wiped clean - as so the light shines through! Breakthrough's happen. Pow! A new light reveals the deeper truth. When it comes to our Global Environmental Emergency, we are all going to die along with the rest of life on earth, or we are going to die to our separate greedy self and have a breakthrough to a higher level of communion and reverence for all of life, a breakthrough of consciousness that realizes our Oneness with one and all. We never skip a level, and we may well regress. As we evolve we move onward and upward, always inward, and away from reactivity. Remember, our reactivity is our teacher. And the tenth and final principle is that you can be awake at any stage of development. There is great caution here. A Rebel that hears the voice of God might well turn into a violent person because "God told me to."
Page 96 - I really want to drive this point home. Remember, we need the most grown up people among us as we grapple with our Global Environmental Emergency. There it is. I'm NOT saying "solve our Global Environmental Emergency" for we are not likely to make it go away. Too much damage has already been done and our cultures are too rigidly committed to our separate and greedy way of living. What we do need is the most evolved among us to help us to respond to the inevitable in the most mature ways, the most loving ways.
Page 97 - Ken Wilber and Allan Combs came up with the "Wilber-Combs Lattice" which is depicted below. This is developmental "theory" at best. On the left are stages and across the top are states of consciousness. On the left we start at the bottom with Archaic Child, then to Magical Rebel, to the Mythic Adult, to the Rational Outlaw, to the Pluralistic Lover and to the Integral and rarified air of the Super Integral Enlightened Lover. You have to do some translation here to make sense of this. States of awakening are across the top, as I noted. Gross is ordinary waking consciousness. Subtle is a dream state where intuition and imaginations are present. Causal is formless, contentless, non-thinking - and the state sought after in meditation where the chatter in the mind stops. Nondual is where the Mindful Observing Witness is really awake and everything is One in the present moment. This is the Power of Now that Eckhart Tolle speaks of so eloquently. The colors in the Wilber-Combs Lattice match Integral Theory, and the colors in my book more closely reflect the colors in Spiral Dynamics by Beck and Cowen.
Page 98 - This brilliant insight from Wilber is so useful today. At lower stages, pre-Lover, you think you are right and everyone else is wrong. You can't see the upside to other points of view. You only see the downside to theirs and the upside to your own. At the Lover and Enlightened Lover stages there is an embrace of paradox. I have been blessed to have spent time with Barry Johnson, the founder of Polarity Management. This tool has been worth its weight in gold to me both personally and professional. Again, I've taught Polarity Management to many people, including my children. Barry has a book, Polarity Management: Identifying and Managing Unsolvable Problems. It is easy to read and grasp and I can't recommend it highly enough. As you begin to see polarities, and work with them, your consciousness evolves. Steve McIntosh has done a wonderful job of working with polarities in his book Integral Politics in which he advocates for a post-progressive politics. This, I also believe, is the way out of our dualistic, win-lose political mess here in the USA. Steve has a handful of books on Integral Theory and its application. He is a neighbor in Bolder, CO of Jeff Salzman's... the host of the podcast Daily Evolver. These guys feed each other. Steve has also co-written a book on Conscious Leadership which fits within the Conscious Capitalism movement of which I am a fan.
Page 98 - In the box... all the way out to the Enlightened Lover where you creativity is optimized and your capacity to collaborate with Mother Earth peaks. This is the "why" behind my book. We need, NEED Enlightened Lovers to guide us through this time in history. If, after 300,000 years of existence for homo-sapiens-sapiens, we are at the end, let the most enlightened among us guide us through the door into transcendence.
Page 99 - I have a quote hanging on the wall in my office today. A new one hangs often, and this one says: "Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public." That is from Cornel West. Lovers actively seek justice. Yes, Enlightened Lovers do stand non-judgmentally for enlightened principles. We have so many exemplars of this peaceful protest, peaceful resistance, peaceful advocacy. They upset the status quo of lower levels of consciousness and thus are often identified as a threat. Think of Jesus, my exemplar. He was murdered for being a seeker of justice, for being an Enlightened Lover.
Page 100 - Take the four recommendations to heart. Assess your stage of development, remembering that you are likely 20% behind, 60% now, and on a good day 20% ahead. Consciousness is dynamic, not static. And the lines are never clear. The way stages are defined is itself a manifestation of the separate and dualistic mind.
GROWING UP is not necessarily about being especially religious. Religion begins as elitist, and ends and egalitarian. I began as a child and youth, as a young adult, imbued with a Dutch Reformed Calvinism, a Reformed Theology. As were my parents, I was a member of the Reformed Church in America, a small protestant denomination with a rich history that goes back to early colonial days. The oldest pulpit in America is in a Reformed Church. The current church, designed by Philip Hooker, is the fourth building and the oldest church in Albany, NY. The pulpit was imported from the Netherlands in 1656. I do believe my parents were married in Old First Reformed Church. Parenthetically, this church is not to be confused with Paul Schrader's movie, First Reformed Church. Although, one might wonder.
GROWING UP is not necessarily about being especially religious. Religion begins as elitist, and ends and egalitarian. I began as a child and youth, as a young adult, imbued with a Dutch Reformed Calvinism, a Reformed Theology. As were my parents, I was a member of the Reformed Church in America, a small protestant denomination with a rich history that goes back to early colonial days. The oldest pulpit in America is in a Reformed Church. The current church, designed by Philip Hooker, is the fourth building and the oldest church in Albany, NY. The pulpit was imported from the Netherlands in 1656. I do believe my parents were married in Old First Reformed Church. Parenthetically, this church is not to be confused with Paul Schrader's movie, First Reformed Church. Although, one might wonder.
Page 101 - Some further comments about stages of adult development and the consciousness of the Dependent Child. It is so important to remember that I am not name-calling with each of these descriptive names. No one is a "Dependent Child," but we all start out in life with the consciousness of a dependent child. In the best of circumstances we develop beyond that, but some of us stay stuck there for one reason or another. In the symbiotic relationship between a dominant person and his or her sycophant friend, there is something to be gained by each person. The cool dude gets his ego boosted by the brown-nosing buddy who sucks up. Each is given a measure of worth in their dependent relationship. When one is dependent, one is vulnerable because power has been given over to another person, or institution, or ideology, etc. When one gains conscious control of one's own agency, the movement out of dependency is under way.
Page 102 - Who among us is rather dependent? No matter whether you are to the far left, or the far right, or somewhere in between... you might be there not out of adherence to a tribe as would be the Adult, or out of principle as would be the Outlaw... but as a relatively unconscious dependent Child. I hope this makes sense. I've met people all over the political spectrum whose convictions are not well considered, but who are echoing another's powerful convictions. The concept of fixed mindset is less mature than a growth mindset. Carol Dweck has written significantly of mindsets and as I recall, especially about how the educational system perpetuates a fixed mindset. A growth mindset encourages further development beyond the Co-dependent Adult worldview. Let me make a comment about "co-dependency," which was a huge concept back in 1986 when Melody Beattie wrote her book, Codependent No More, that sold a kajillion copies. A dependent child doesn't have a mind and a heart of his or her own. We can look more deeply at co-dependency when we get to the Adult.
Page 103 - Narcissus and Echo. We all have heard references to Narcissus and the Narcissistic Personality in particular. Ovid, the ancient Roman poet of the first century BCE, crafted the story of Narcissus and Echo. You can do a wiki search and learn more, but the bottom line is the Narcissus would say something like, "I'm cool" and Echo would echo that with a "Yea, you are really cool!" Narcissus needs the mirroring the Echo provides, and Echo gets the validation that comes from being identified with the very cool Narcissus. It works to inflate both until the truth comes out. Narcissus doesn't really care about the essence of who Echo is and moves on, dispensing with Echo. We all have tendencies to be both Narcissus and Echo. Watch out!
Page 104 - Yes, there is something beautiful about the innocence of a child. Again, I'm not referencing a persons age, nor am I name-calling. Childlike innocence is delightful until the associated vulnerability makes it dangerous. The Enlightened Lover does enter into a type of innocence, but it is associated more with a chosen step into what has been called "second naïveté" - a willing suspension of judgment as one steps into Rumi's field - out there - beyond judgment.
Page 105ff - The Counter-Dependent Rebel. I never rode a Harley, but I did have a big custom Yamaha cruiser. Harley's are icons of the counter-dependent Rebel. As I write in the fall of 2020, out political climate is full of Rebels who are more committed to saying NO than YES to some guiding principles, as would be the case with the Outlaw. There isn't much need to go into great detail here. We all pass through phases in life when we are adept at saying NO for no other reason than we do not want to be dependent any longer. Think of the terrible two-year-old that is struggling to assert some independent agency. As I write, I think of my college years when it was common to chant, "Hell no, I won't go!" to our government and its efforts to draft us into the Vietnam War. And as I say on the bottom of page 105... there are times in life when it is not only appropriate to say NO, but necessary. NO, I won't support a more delayed dismantling of the power plant 30 miles to the west of us along Lake Michigan. That thing has to be dismantled immediately given the damage it is doing to the water table all around it. NO, when it is principled centered, is how our species stretches to grow.
Page 107 - A confession on being a Rebel. I went through a number of years as I was breaking out of being an Adult where I regressed and found myself rather Rebellious. I was saying NO without anything yet to say YES to. This was a time of rather classic mid-life crisis stuff. The world I was in, especially my career, required a great deal of conformity. Being a Pastor is a tough, tough job. Everyone has expectations and you can't please everyone. So, as Ricky Nelson said, "Ya gotta please yourself." Easier said than done. Without the maturity of the Lover, I was rather counter-dependent as I broke away step-by-step. I'll say more about this when we get to the Outlaw stage of development where something of goodness, truth, and beauty has been apprehended.
Page 109 - The Co-Dependent Adult. Here we have a member of a tribe, be it church, family, work, political party, ball club... a group of people who share a "book of rules" and have creeds and codes, rules and roles, doctrines and dogmas that they all organize around. Picture me in Seminary for 3 years, learning Greek and Hebrew and studying the theological positions held by mostly dead, white, male, European theologians. That was then, and I was learning everything that I needed to know in order to pass my exams and get what was in effect my union card. Once ordained, I was done with having to be "right."
And now, let me say something about The Sierra Club and John Muir. While our country is today grappling with its systemic racism, Muir has come into focus as someone who had a rather negative attitude toward the Native American's he encountered on his journeys. He also had bad stuff to say about Blacks. Apparently he outgrew his prejudices, but they were there at the beginning and directly impacted his environmental work. No getting around it. Do a search of "Muir and Racism" and you will find efforts to unpack the truth, own it, and heal it. Muir fell into the twin problems of separation and greed. Fact. Remember, no one is all right, nor all wrong. The Sierra Club is owning its dark side, and moving on, I pray. As I hope you know, I am contributing $5.00 from the sale of each of my books to The Sierra Club because I believe in their ability to help our environment heal and regenerate.
And now, let me say something about The Sierra Club and John Muir. While our country is today grappling with its systemic racism, Muir has come into focus as someone who had a rather negative attitude toward the Native American's he encountered on his journeys. He also had bad stuff to say about Blacks. Apparently he outgrew his prejudices, but they were there at the beginning and directly impacted his environmental work. No getting around it. Do a search of "Muir and Racism" and you will find efforts to unpack the truth, own it, and heal it. Muir fell into the twin problems of separation and greed. Fact. Remember, no one is all right, nor all wrong. The Sierra Club is owning its dark side, and moving on, I pray. As I hope you know, I am contributing $5.00 from the sale of each of my books to The Sierra Club because I believe in their ability to help our environment heal and regenerate.
Page 111 - The stronger your commitment to your group’s worldview, the more likely is it that you have a co-dependent Adult worldview. We have benefited greatly from being patriotic, from supporting our religious or civic organizations... and the whole gains much from our individual support. The challenge is to take the best of your affiliation, include it, and then transcend it. Include and transcend. If you can't live without your affiliation, then you are enmeshed and that isn't likely a healthy spot for you, or our community.
The message I'd like to press forward is this: challenge the groups to which you belong. Challenge them to integrate environmentalism into their mission, their purpose, their reason for being. We are fast approaching a time when any group that doesn't support environmental regeneration will be viewed negatively. We each can help all of us to sustain Mother Earth.
The message I'd like to press forward is this: challenge the groups to which you belong. Challenge them to integrate environmentalism into their mission, their purpose, their reason for being. We are fast approaching a time when any group that doesn't support environmental regeneration will be viewed negatively. We each can help all of us to sustain Mother Earth.
Page 113 to 118 - The Independent Outlaw. The move from Co-dependent Adult to the Independent Outlaw is just huge. It takes enormous courage to step out of the rules and roles, creeds and codes, doctrines and dogmas of the Adult world. Let me share a story from a weekend seminar I attended with Sam Keen back in the 90's. At the book table, I had just picked up a copy of The Passionate Life. I immediately saw the wisdom of the book, and when Keen opened for questions I was the first to raise my hand. Here was my question: In becoming an Outlaw, must one necessarily leave community? Keen thought for a long moment and responded: It depends. If your community is graceful, probably not. But if you community is not especially graceful... then for God's sake keep your mouth shut! Everyone in the room laughed. Keen then added: And in the meantime, buy yourself a motorcycle. More laughter. I responded: I already have one - a Honda Rebel. More laughter.
Outlaws are deemed to be trouble makers to the Adult world that they are challenging. It can be as simple as the news story from this morning - the Lieutenant Governor of some state stood up in from of a Trump rally and asked people there to wear a mask. He was booed soundly off the stage. Now that I think about it, maybe the Lieutenant Governor was trying to get the Child/Rebel crowd to function like a community of Adults.
The big differentiator is that the Outlaw has shifted his or her source of authority to something that is personally experienced, not externally taught. When I was in Seminary the first time, I was there to learn be an Adult. I was graded on my efficacy at being an Adult. The second time, at a different Seminary, I was doing my own research and writing on "non-possessive warmth" in the therapeutic relationship. It was about being graceful. The third time through I was in my Doctoral program and it was truly self-designed. I was forced by a couple of key faculty to think for myself. What did I really believe? I had to write my own credo and it was a terrific exercise in defining myself. I finished that program in 1980. From that point on I began to think for myself, write for myself, speak for myself... out of my own experience of the divine. The words of Thomas Merton followed me daily for years: the true believe doubts everything. Those words of assurance comforted me then, and still do.
Outlaws have been captured by an intimation of love. To that the Outlaw steps forward, often in fear and at great risk. Outlaws are often snuffed out.
Outlaws are deemed to be trouble makers to the Adult world that they are challenging. It can be as simple as the news story from this morning - the Lieutenant Governor of some state stood up in from of a Trump rally and asked people there to wear a mask. He was booed soundly off the stage. Now that I think about it, maybe the Lieutenant Governor was trying to get the Child/Rebel crowd to function like a community of Adults.
The big differentiator is that the Outlaw has shifted his or her source of authority to something that is personally experienced, not externally taught. When I was in Seminary the first time, I was there to learn be an Adult. I was graded on my efficacy at being an Adult. The second time, at a different Seminary, I was doing my own research and writing on "non-possessive warmth" in the therapeutic relationship. It was about being graceful. The third time through I was in my Doctoral program and it was truly self-designed. I was forced by a couple of key faculty to think for myself. What did I really believe? I had to write my own credo and it was a terrific exercise in defining myself. I finished that program in 1980. From that point on I began to think for myself, write for myself, speak for myself... out of my own experience of the divine. The words of Thomas Merton followed me daily for years: the true believe doubts everything. Those words of assurance comforted me then, and still do.
Outlaws have been captured by an intimation of love. To that the Outlaw steps forward, often in fear and at great risk. Outlaws are often snuffed out.
A poem that tells it all. I read a handful of books by, and about Jiddu Krishnamurti. He was an thinker and philosopher, a teacher and author. Here is a powerful section from his long book-length poem, The Search. The message here saved me from my isolation. K, as he was called, understood my search for the truth. Read this.
As one beholds through a small window
A single green leaf, a small patch of the vast blue sky,
So I began to perceive Thee,
In the beginning of all things.
As the leaf faded and withered, the patch covered as with dark cloud,
So didst Thou fade and vanish,
But to be reborn again,
As the single green leaf, as the small patch of the blue sky.
For many lives have I seen
The bleak winter and the green spring.
Prisoned in my little room,
I could not behold the entire tree nor the whole sky.
I swore there was no tree, nor the vast sky –
That was the Truth.
Through time and destruction
My window grew large.
I beheld
A branch with many leaves,
And a greater patch of the blue with many clouds.
I forgot the single green leaf, the small patch of the vast blue.
I swore there was no tree, nor the immense sky –
That was the Truth.
Weary of this prison,
This small cell,
I raged at my window.
With bleeding fingers
I tore away brick after brick,
I beheld,
The entire tree, its great trunk,
Its many branches, its thousand leaves,
And an immense part of the sky.
I swore there was no other tree, no other part to the sky –
That was the Truth.
This prison no longer holds me.
I flew away through the window.
O friend,
I behold every tree and the vast expanse of the limitless sky.
Though I live in every single leaf and in every small patch of the vast blue sky,
Though I live in every prison, looking out through every small casement –
Liberated am I.
Lo! Not a thing shall bind me –
This is the Truth.
As one beholds through a small window
A single green leaf, a small patch of the vast blue sky,
So I began to perceive Thee,
In the beginning of all things.
As the leaf faded and withered, the patch covered as with dark cloud,
So didst Thou fade and vanish,
But to be reborn again,
As the single green leaf, as the small patch of the blue sky.
For many lives have I seen
The bleak winter and the green spring.
Prisoned in my little room,
I could not behold the entire tree nor the whole sky.
I swore there was no tree, nor the vast sky –
That was the Truth.
Through time and destruction
My window grew large.
I beheld
A branch with many leaves,
And a greater patch of the blue with many clouds.
I forgot the single green leaf, the small patch of the vast blue.
I swore there was no tree, nor the immense sky –
That was the Truth.
Weary of this prison,
This small cell,
I raged at my window.
With bleeding fingers
I tore away brick after brick,
I beheld,
The entire tree, its great trunk,
Its many branches, its thousand leaves,
And an immense part of the sky.
I swore there was no other tree, no other part to the sky –
That was the Truth.
This prison no longer holds me.
I flew away through the window.
O friend,
I behold every tree and the vast expanse of the limitless sky.
Though I live in every single leaf and in every small patch of the vast blue sky,
Though I live in every prison, looking out through every small casement –
Liberated am I.
Lo! Not a thing shall bind me –
This is the Truth.
Page 114 - We need more cathedral thinking. An obvious reference to Greta Thunberg's quote. The Adult world is in a box. Hopefully it is a healthy box, but it is full of constraints no matter what. Who is moving out of the box? The Outlaw! You can see signs of iconoclastic thinking everywhere you look. We do need Outlaws to pull us and push us along in the time we have. Outlaws are innovative entrepreneurs and if there is ever a need for innovation of personal thought, cultural values, technology, and social functioning - now is the time.
Page 117 - We are being expelled by Mother Earth. Here it is again. This time, however, it is Mother Earth that is the Adult that has defined the rules and roles, creeds and codes, doctrines and dogmas that keep Gaia in balance. If we don't follow the rules, she will expel us. In fact, that is happening now. Like a splinter that has become embedded in my finger, the body pusses up and eventually just pushes that splinter out so that it can heal and get back to normal. We have thrown Mother Earth out of balance, and she will get herself back in balance, with us - or without us.
Page 118 - If you are a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. I remember reading that in a book by Eldridge Cleaver whose live twisted and turned as he struggled to address the realities of racism in our world. His book Soul on Ice is a collection of essays and somewhere in there he punched through to my soul. The Vietnam war was on, and I wanted to be a part of the solution, not the problem. My protestations picked up speed and got louder. I have to also note the "stretch to grow" reference. Here is a clear reference, from a friend who continues to stretch, to embrace being an Outlaw, an entrepreneur who brings necessary change to our troubled world.
Page 119 - The Inter-Dependent Lover. The Lover has moved away from separation and greed toward a worldview that appreciated the connections between one and all, and the love that animates all of creation. A concept like "the great web of life" makes sense. Now polarities make sense as the Lover searches for new ways to balance an ever expanding consciousness. Dualistic thinking is gradually left behind as paradoxes are engaged as challenges that push development.
Page 120 - The embedded Mindful Observing Witness. Every great spiritual leader, every mystic, every peaceful and powerful change agent, has cultivated the Mindful Observing Witness. Recently I've read Michael Singer's books, most significantly The Untethered Soul and his autobiographical The Surrender Experiment. But you can go back and read any of the great spiritual giants from every tradition, and you will find a central emphasis on dialing into the Presence, the Essence, the Now. Consider Eckhart Tolle and his work on The Power of Now. The Adult reads and studies deeply within his or her own communities wisdom literature, but not outside of it. The Outlaw explores previously forbidden territory "out there" beyond the familiar and acceptable. The Lover is experiencing our deep, connected community and is living with Reverence for Life.
Page 121f - Taking another's perspective. A hallmark of the Lover stage of development is the ability to take another's perspective. As dualism evaporates, as separation closes down, the capacity to take another's perspective increases. Let me reference again the wonder work of Steve McIntosh and his book Integral Politics, wherein he helps the reader to see the world through the eyes of those on the left and the right and the path forward toward a post-progressive worldview. Here there is a felt hunger for understanding and thus an appreciation for the experiences of others. Stretch to grow. Can you take the perspective of plants, pets, rocks, trees, oceans... plastics? It is challenging enough to take on the perspective of another human being, but how about all the other pieces of creation that are connected and nested in the great chain of being? What are they longing for? What do they need to be "healthy" occupants of their own piece of the world?
Page 123 - The Enlightened Lover. This is rarified air up here. Few among us receive the gift and embrace it. As Rumi said, you must die before you die. A huge price has to be paid if one is transcend the separate and greedy world. As St. Paul said, It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives within me. A radical shift in consciousness. I wonder who your angels and guides are? Write me and let me know. Who are your exemplars? Who are those in your life who are Enlightened Lovers? Spend time with them, be they real live human beings, or authors who have left us a tale about their adventures in living. I aspire to be one of them. Albert Schweitzer has been one of my exemplars since I was in middle school. I mention him again on page 125. Jesus is my main exemplar, but so are many of the authors I've read. They enlighten me.
Page 124 - Apart, and a part at the same time. This line comes from the famous hypnotherapist Milton Erickson. Back during my early clinical training I studied his works as a student of Neuro-Linguistic Programming under John Grinder and Richard Bandler. I listened to Erickson on cassette tape. Wow, does that date me! During a trance induction he invited the listener to be apart from, and a part of the moment. Can you see it? He invited the listener to take the position of the Mindful Observing Witness and to mindfully observe and witness the Present Moment. In my professional world, we would say that one who can do so is a "well-differentiated human being." The Enlightened Lover is essentially apart from all, and a part of all, simultaneously. Here is a nice little anecdote. When I left the non-profit counseling center I co-founded, after 33 years, I was given a clock. It sits on a table in my office to this day. Inscribed on it are words of gratitude for always reminding my colleagues that they are apart of, and apart from, one and all.
Page 125 - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The Golden Rule. For the Enlightened Lover this makes perfect sense. Why? Because there is no boundary between self and other that separates. There is a boundary, but it is seen as an illusion only recognizable on a material level. At a spiritual, or soulful level, there is no boundary. Let me quote Ken Wilber again. “THE ULTIMATE METAPHYSICAL SECRET, if we dare state it so simply, is that there are no boundaries in the universe. Boundaries are illusions, products not of reality but of the way we map and edit reality. And while it is fine to map out the territory, it is fatal to confuse the two.”
You can find that in Wilber's book, No Boundary: Eastern and Western Approaches to Personal Growth. Note, too, his reference to that wonderful piece of enlightened insight - the map is not the territory.
You can find that in Wilber's book, No Boundary: Eastern and Western Approaches to Personal Growth. Note, too, his reference to that wonderful piece of enlightened insight - the map is not the territory.
Page 126 - Goodness, Truth and Beauty. I mentioned these BIG THREE transcendentals as they have been called, back on page 99, 107, and now here again. Goodness is about religion and morality. Truth is about logic and science. Beauty is about art and aesthetics. These big three divisions of human reality go back to Plato and each has its own stages of development. Goodness, Truth, and Beauty to a Child is different than for a Rebel, Adult, Outlaw, Lover and Enlightened Lover. As we develop our worldview grows bigger and bigger as we transcend and include on perspective after another. The more conscious we are, the bigger are our definitions of reality.
Page 127 - The end of this chapter full of big ideas. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. Yes, that is the final line from the final song on the Beatles final album. A fitting way to wrap up Chapter 7, GROWING UP.